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Has Grief for a Dog Who Died Ever Overwhelmed You? | Page 2 | Coping with Loss

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Has Grief for a Dog Who Died Ever Overwhelmed You?
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London, UK
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22 September 2016 - 8:03 am
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I'm so sorry, Christine, though I am not surprised. Otis was/is so hugely loved, the space he leaves must feel just achingly huge at times. It will ease in time, become less overwhelming, or less frequently overwhelming, but the feeling of loss will never entirely go, and I'm sure you wouldn't want it to. One thing I found after my Billie died (aged 10 from a brain tumour) was that as the weeks went by she actually returned to me in a sense. Before she died, everything was so dominated by her illness, at least latterly, but once she had gone, I started to remember more and more the Billie she was before she got ill, and it was as if that Billie came back. Nine years later, I still miss her, but it is much more manageable than in those unreal weeks and months after her death. Occasionally I see a stick, I know she would have loved to pick up, or a hole under a bench like she used to dig (always under a bench for some reason) and it feels like a stab of pain but also of joy for what we had.

I absolutely know what you mean when you say

 It is hard, because you are grieving, but you can't talk to just anyone about it.

I found it terribly hard that so many people, even close friends, just didn't get the scale of the loss. My father died just two weeks after Billie, also from a brain tumour. I found it so hard that people would offer their condolences for my father but not say anything about my dog. It was as though, at least in comparison, her death was totally insignificant. It really, really wasn't. That's why I am so glad that you can come here and share your thoughts and feelings about Otis with people who do absolutely understand.

It's incredibly hard deciding what to do with all the stuff they leave behind, sometimes it can be comforting, but sometimes it just seems to underscore the absence. There's no right way, but there's also no wrong one. You just have to muddle on through. But please know that you, Otis and Tess are very much held in the heart of this community.

Hugs

Meg and Clare (and Elsie Pie) and Billie in spirit too

Meg, Mutt, aged around 8, adopted 31/12/2009. Sudden explosive right elbow fracture 06/12 (caused by IOHC), diagnosed with End Stage Arthritis 03/15, Total Elbow Replacement 08/15, problems with healing leading to skin graft & skin flap surgery, Chronic Infection leading to implant breakdown. Became a Tripawd 9th March 2016. 
Lives with Elsie Pie, & Mum, Clare, watched over by Angel Billie
My life as a MEG-A-STAR 


Virginia
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22 September 2016 - 9:30 am
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The Tripawd Universe of Love and Understanding never stops being here for each otherheart

Making little remembrances, whatever form that may be,sometimes brings comfort when the waves of grief try to engulf you.

Lori, Ty's Mom made a little "garden" of remembrances for Ty. I think it was also Lori who planted some "forget me not" flowers in his food bowl. Alison has a special place in her home that is Shelby's corner and filled with lovely treasures and memories. The Tribute Leash is another way to honor our Tripawds, whether they are currently on this journey or have headed to the Bridge. Bonnie Polly's mom, started the Tripawds Alumni Thread where we can go and share...share pretty much anything connected to our heroes, as well as stories about the pups they have sent us.

With love to allheart

Sally and My Chunky Spiritual Being Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie

PS. Kerry....please share more of your "ornery" pups!

Meg...you sure do have a very special Guardian in Billie watching over you!

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

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18 July 2017 - 2:57 pm
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Bumping this thread to say thank you!  I'm glad I found it because it really helps reassure me I'm not alone. The hurt is real.

Virginia
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18 July 2017 - 4:11 pm
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Ohhh, the hurt is real.alright. No one is ever alone here jn their grief. We grieve together. We help hold each other up together when we crumble.

We also celebrate the lives well lived and well loved together.

And we celebrate together when our Spirit Angels send us signs that they are with us and they are healthy and happy!

We celebrate when our dogs and cats send us other animals who need to know what love feels like, what joy feels like. We celebrate that our Spirit Angels pick who THEY want for us, not who WE want......and on THEIR timeframe, not ours!

No, no one is EVER alone on any aspect of this journey. We understand....all of it!!

With love

Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

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