Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat

I'm so sorry, Christine, though I am not surprised. Otis was/is so hugely loved, the space he leaves must feel just achingly huge at times. It will ease in time, become less overwhelming, or less frequently overwhelming, but the feeling of loss will never entirely go, and I'm sure you wouldn't want it to. One thing I found after my Billie died (aged 10 from a brain tumour) was that as the weeks went by she actually returned to me in a sense. Before she died, everything was so dominated by her illness, at least latterly, but once she had gone, I started to remember more and more the Billie she was before she got ill, and it was as if that Billie came back. Nine years later, I still miss her, but it is much more manageable than in those unreal weeks and months after her death. Occasionally I see a stick, I know she would have loved to pick up, or a hole under a bench like she used to dig (always under a bench for some reason) and it feels like a stab of pain but also of joy for what we had.

I absolutely know what you mean when you say

 It is hard, because you are grieving, but you can't talk to just anyone about it.

I found it terribly hard that so many people, even close friends, just didn't get the scale of the loss. My father died just two weeks after Billie, also from a brain tumour. I found it so hard that people would offer their condolences for my father but not say anything about my dog. It was as though, at least in comparison, her death was totally insignificant. It really, really wasn't. That's why I am so glad that you can come here and share your thoughts and feelings about Otis with people who do absolutely understand.

It's incredibly hard deciding what to do with all the stuff they leave behind, sometimes it can be comforting, but sometimes it just seems to underscore the absence. There's no right way, but there's also no wrong one. You just have to muddle on through. But please know that you, Otis and Tess are very much held in the heart of this community.

Hugs

Meg and Clare (and Elsie Pie) and Billie in spirit too