Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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I love this poem that Codie Rae just shared after we lost Happy Hannah this week. I hope it brings comfort to all our family members who are grieving:
Things to do after your dog has died
Sweep the floor
Look out the window
Pant
Make a cup of tea and some toast
But then not eat them
Change the sheets on the bed
Try to sing
Start to cry
Forget what day it is
Stumble into a corner of the floor and hold your knees tightly
Keen
Pull yourself together
Make another cup of tea and this time drink it
Look out a different window
Stare at that spot on the floor where your dog used to stretch out, languid and happy, his paws twitching as he raced across sleep meadows and into dream ravines filled with moss and ferns and the scent of foxes
Look for the Kleenex
Use toilet paper instead
Wander around the house, your heart like a damned anvil in your chest
Heat up leftovers
Push them around the plate before leaving the entire thing in the sink
Look for what is not there
Hear things
Feel the forgotten fur beneath your fingertips
Feel the forgetting begin
Hold a memory, any memory, bright and shining, soft and sad, smelling of wet fur and leaves, with a whisker there and muddy paw prints left on the stairs, of a walk of a hike of a trip to the park with a treat and a bone and a belly rub snacks stolen off the counter and tug of war and the squeaky toy a glance of complicity in play with your hand on head with tail wagging and breath misting in the morning light or the moon over the trees while an owl croons ears are pricked and nose to the ground sniffing, sniffing, sniffing following the invisible trail to its joyful finding
Put on your pajamas
Turn around three times before you curl up by the rope toy and find yourself chasing the echo of a bark into a night that will never end
Grow a tail
Catherine Young 11.27.12
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
LOVE iT111
brought tears to my eyes as I read it... because... it's true...
Thanks for posting that....
Christine... with Franklin in her heart♥
Franklin, he was the Happiest Dog on Three Legs! Diagnosed 09/26/2012 with Osteosarcoma, amputated 12/4/2012. Had a wonderful 5 1/2 months painfree until he ran for the Bridge on 5/15/2013. Always in my heart, and always a guardian angel of my pack... You can follow his Tripawd Adventures, before and after, in my blog, Frank'n'Farter!
That is sooooo beautiful and so true .... Thank you for sharing ....
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
YES! When got it it msde me feel a little less crazy. I told Cidie Rae about dong soe of those things...it's so true!
I wander amlessly arond the house as thoug ai got up to do so ethi g...but never figured out what the "task" wss..just pacing.
Of course, I go to the kitchen a million t es to see what special treat can fix fr Happy Hannah and look to see her watchi g me on her bed by the wooddtove and smiles as she tumps...thumps...thumps her tail.....but she's not there.
When t's justyo and yor dog...I didnt remember to eat...when I f ally tried to fix so ething...and just li,e this says...you just stare at it..you swish it aro d with your fork..-but then zi got up to give Hapoy Hannah a bite...-.and she's not here.
and you go to hug her a d rub ner tummy...and she nt here....and you pick up the camera for a millionth time to take a other picture because you know the jour eyis e dng....and she's not here....
A d yous ell everything you ca find that's hers...a d yo don't take off yor bathrobe and pjs for days ow because you were lovng on her in them whe she crossed.....and you hug the portrait Murphy dad and mom msde because you had her kiss it before she crossed over and you ripubbed opher scent o it and you taped a lock f her soft fur to it and you hug it and hug it and hug it .....a d you see some dried slobber on the floor frm that day when she was eatngM&Ms and you wa t to so ehow cut out a piece of the floor so it never goes away. Actual, no problem...K don't like to clean anyway...it'll stay there forever.
I know she didn't need to stay one more day and, oddly enough I don't find myself asking for ne more day. I know she loved being loved by me snd spoiled by me and she would never stop wsgging her tsil because she would never stop being loved by me. But the consistent hesvy labored breathing/pantng, just barely able to g out to pee without having to sit and rest...and taking a few steps t still enyou the direction of a scent, but always gasping for air that would never get better...and ALWAYS wagging because zzi wss there with her loving every sngle thing she did and smiling and we both were always laughing with each ogher every second right up to the last...every single second.
But she was sooooooo filled up with love and happiness...she really didn't need to stay for anymore because it was exhaustng her. And as she would try and sleep and just not be abke to realy rest and I would be there loving her, comfortin her...yeah, tail ALWAYS wagging...and of course giving her constsnt treats......but she didn't need to have to struggle anymore to get these.....while she loved this.....she let me know tht she had an eternity of love from me' an eternity of happness from me...and she knew she gave me the same.....and she'd gotten ALL that without exhaustion, having to adapt to difficult breathing....-so no need to stay here in ner earth clothes!! And to kow she crossed over with tail waggng, still a spsrke in her eyes.....to relive that experience and not wait for a "worse experience"...............
Yeah HAPPY HANNAH...WE NAILED THIS CROSSOVER!!!!!! SPLENDID JOB SWEET SOUL!! We are soooooooo lucky!!
Oops! Looks like started rambling again....was rambling on Codie Rae's list...yeah...I think so!
Thank you for this Martha
With love and gratitude,
Sally and Happy Hannah
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Beautiful. Sally, I know exactly how you feel, I felt like that after Sassy passed. I cried when I had to wash my sheets when she laid on them. It felt like somehow she wasn't going to be here. The poem and what you said Sally have tears streaming down my cheeks. I wish I could some how take the pain away. It lessens as time goes on but then there are days that you just want to crawl down a hole and never come back.
You are right you & Happy Hannah nailed her crossing to the bridge. She knows you loved her and that will never change. I still stand by my word any time you need to talk call.
Hugs
Michelle & Angel Sassy
Sassy is a proud member of the Winter Warriors. Live long, & strong Winter Warriors.
sassysugarbear.tripawds.com
07/26/2006 - Sassy earned her wings 08/20/2013
05/04/2006 - Bosch, Sassy's pal, earned his wings 03/29/19 fought cancer for 4 months.
"You aren't doing it TO her, you are doing it FOR her. Give her a chance at life."
Sally - you nailed it (as you always do). I am the same way. I don't want to wash the clothes I was wearing that last day with Shelby. I didn't eat unless someone put food in front of me. I walk in the house (STILL) and look to her beds (where they still are) and then to the bathroom (where she would be sometimes). I don't want to get my carpets cleaned even though there are spots from when she had accidents ...
And oddly, even thought Shelby was basically unconscious her last couple of days (no more tail wags but content in her beds), I don't regret how she passed. She KNEW she was in nature. I also don't ask for more days ... we fought a noble fight. And like Michelle said, the sadness will come when you least expect it ... I changed my cover photo (yesterday) on Facebook and immediately, more condolences came in. But it had to be Shelby. My profile pic is still Shelby and me - snuggles.
I"m here for you .... let me know if there is anything else I can do for you!!! XOXO
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
I feel the same it is hard to eat with a foot in your belly. (Not really but feels that way) I am better not at home, yet want to be because that is where I spent the most time with him. I wore a while fleece jacket last night. I had my left arm under and around his neck the whole time. My face was in his fur so I did not have to watch the injection. I did look once when they put in the first sleepy med. they had a bit of problem because his veins were so shot. There are now black hairs on my fleece. It will be a long time till I wash it. I want to go smell it to see if it smells of him. Is that crazy? I wish I could just go to sleep for a month. I know every morning I will wake up and feel punched in the belly. It feels weird to not have meds to prepare, food to try to stuff into him to stop the weight loss and all the extras you do for them. I do however, still have Chandler and. Lucy and need to somewhat hold it together for them. Still it just hurts so darn much. I will do ok and then this wave of grief comes over me. I have not really eaten today or yesterday either so I think I will make a coffee and actually drink it. Oh how my heart hurts.
not only for my loss, but it has been so many in the last week. Our vet was even sniffing last night. He really liked Ty. I am sure my tears did not help. I had promised I would stay strong , but the tears just came. I just kept telling him, "Mommy loves you, and Mommy is only doing this because she loves you so much."Oh and Sally thanks for the spelling of soul. I ( the master speller) could not come up with it this morning. Just a big blank where my brain should be. And a hole where my heart should be. I have the bed that I bought for him. It had memory foam and was stiff so we used it in the car. He could just stretch out in the backseat. I don't know what to do with it. Right now I cannot bring it in the house, but can't bring myself to throw it away. I know it is dumb, as I could use it for my other dogs. But every time I would look at it, I would think of that trip to vets. I can remember another trip. We were still trying to find out why he was limping. It was October of last year. I remember looking in the rear view and he was sitting up in the back seat looking so excited. He LOVED to go away. That was the visit of the cortizone injection. I cried the whole way home because I left him there overnight. I called them and made sure they knew he had not had dinner yet. That is the last time he rode sitting up in my car. He never put weight on his leg again. He was a special guy. Losing him has knocked the wind from my sails. I will stop rambling now and get my coffee. Thanks for listening.
TY GUY, Best Black Lab ever! Diagnosed and had amp in January, 2014. Kicked MRSA's butt. Earned his angel wings on April 16, 2014. Run Free my boy and don't forget a shoe. Ty is a proud member of the " April Angels". Ty sent us Daryl, a Tripawd rescue in Sept. of 2016. Daryl is 5 +or -. We are also Pawrents to Chandler, a Border Collie mix who is 15 and 1/2, Lucy, a Corgi who is 7, 2 minis, 2 horses, and a feisty cat named Zoe. Zoe had a non skeletal Osteosarcoma removed in July 2015. No Chemo, she was at least 16. She is going strong although she is now completely blind. She is now close to 20 and her hobbies are eating and sleeping in front of her personal heater.
I read the poem and bawled...again! It's so true, especially "Look for what is not there" because Libby should still be laying in her favorite spot in the kitchen. You knew what time of day it was by where she was laying in the house...the kitchen in the morning, the hallway in the afternoon, the living room when it got close to everyone coming home and back in the kitchen while I fixed dinner. I miss everything about her, every day.
I can't believe how much loss there has been in the tripawd family lately. I feel for everyone here and you are all in my thoughts every day.
Love,
Amy & Spirit Libby
Liberty (Libby) was diagnosed with OSA on 1-22-13. Right front amputation on 1-31-13. No IV Chemo. Metronomic Therapy started 2-19-13 along with supplements and some home cooking. Lungs clear until 1-06-14. She's still her happy, hoppy, bossy self. Living the dog life to the fullest and a proud Winter Warrior. :) RIP my Libby 4-21-03 to 3-19-14
No Lori...othi g we do or say is "rambling"...no to us anyway and...sorry...as far as anyo e else....u tile you've walked i our shoes...don't even THINK of "judging" us!! We've got a whole lot of pent up a uger over here in tripawd land...I don't thik ayo e wa ts to mess with grieving tripawd pawre ts!!
Lori...just want to add it's POSSIBLE not tl shed tears, o,ay? One thing I remind myself in these "situatins" if tears come.....remember, dogs/cats do t kow why we're crying...for all they kow we've hurt our leg or scratched our arm or tore off a fingernail! Again...blissfully aware!
AND HE WAS HOME!!!!! With you!!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Wow, Rene. Thank you for directing me here. From the poem to all of the subsequent posts, my heart is melting. I feel like I could have penned each and every post on here. I thought initially that I would go into super cleaning frenzy mode. My house, among other things, has been so neglected for the past few months. There is dog hair in every corner. But for some reason, I hesitate to even put away his bin full of toys. Everything is exactly how he left it. It is as if I put things away I am admitting defeat and admitting he is not coming home again. UGH! My Christmas tree is still up. I had planned to take it down after we got home from our trip, but Eddy got so sick this past weekend and I spent all of my waking hours with him. It's funny because the December day I put the tree up, he was right there with me as I trimmed it. It's a tall artificial tree, and I got on the ladder to reach the top, he laid right by the bottom rungs. When I was finished, I took a picture of him next to it, and I swear he is smiling in it! He looked so proud! Like he helped! Now, I am struggling to take the damn thing down. His ornaments adorn it. Never did I think he was not going to be here to take the tree down....
My two felines sit in our great room, looking for him. He used to chase those damn cats every chance he had, but once he lost his leg, they all amazingly became buddies. I slept in our bed for the first time in over 5 months last night. Since the day of Eddy's diagnosis, I have slept on the couch, with him lying on the rug right next to me. We tried getting him to sleep in our room, but it is 14 steps, and he struggled climbing them, so this was just how we did things. It was he, me, and the two cats, all in the great room, every night. Last night, I awoke at 3am, looking for him from my bed, until reality sunk in and I remembered he was gone. I got up and went downstairs. I laid down on the coach and cried. My two fur babies were all in their assigned positions. The only one missing was Eddy. How still the night seemed without the dinging of his tags. We all looked at each other and again, I burst into tears. In the morning, I awoke to find my feline, Bailey, laying on Eddy's rug. I went to take a bath, and felt lost. Eddy has laid on my bathroom floor for every single morning the past five months, waiting for me while I got ready. I have lost pets before, in fact, four years ago, I lost my other beloved Golden Retriever, Goldy. But, this time, it is SO different. I think it's because of the amount of time I put into him and the endless hours we spent together.
Anyway, sorry for rambling on. I just wanted to say this thread was awesome to read this morning, the morning after!
~Betsy
Betsy Golden and Angel, Eddy. Eddy was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma 7-23-14, had a left rear amputation 8-07-14, had 3 rounds of carboplatin chemotherapy, a small lung met was discovered in October, had 2 rounds of doxorubicin, and unfortunately more lung mets were discovered. Eddy fought cancer valiantly and went to the Rainbow Bridge 1-6-15, at the age of 7 years and 359 days, just six days short of his 8th birthday. Best Dog, Ever....you will never be forgotten.
Not rambling at all...ever!!! We get it!! And we KNOW how hard this is!! Please continu e ro stay here with us, your family who understands.
I'm gonna try and give you the link to that whole thread because the words of support, comfort and wisdom carried me. The words were for all of us facing this seemingly unbearable grief. There were several of us whose dogs crossed over within a very, very short time of each other. This thread had so much support embeded for all of us.
For whatever it's worth, Happy Hannah's food bowl is still in the same spot 8 1/2 months later. I knid of knew last Christmas woukd be the last we shared while she was in her earth clothes. I kept the tree up with just the lights.....shhhhh.....I wouldn't tell very many people this.......until after she passed in April. I plugged those lights in every night for her until bedtime. Just about two months ago I finally moved the .mattress out of my little den where the dogs and I live and where I slept with Happy Hannah. I have a partially used up pint of ice cream in the freezer that was hers, I have a couple of pieces of popcorn and an M&M bag stashed away that have her slobber on them.
My philosophy, don't throw away anything or move anything at this point! No time frame on that stuff!!!
We love you! Hold onto us! We've gotcha'.....and so does Eddy!!
Sally and My Guiding Eternal Light Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle too!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Nope....couldnt m copy the link....but the thread title is on Page 4 under Coping with Loss thread...youll see Hap p y Hannah's name......
Hope it helps. http://tripawds.....ngs-today/
Actually I think I did copy it right.......
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Oh wow... to read this thread again and see the things I wrote .. I could have written them today - not 9 months ago! I am still feeling the same. Shelby's bed that she passed on is still in the back of my car (we had her ceremony at the beach). Many of her toys are locked up for safe-keeping and smelling (yes, they smell like her and it brings be comfort). It took me MONTHS to throw out the pumpkin in the fridge that was hers ... and that was only after mold grew ...
Comfort comes in funny ways ... I can't imagine NOT having Shelby's bed in my car and I wear the necklace I ordered from here every day - no matter what. Much love and peace and comfort to you ... it will get easier ... it will always hurt but the memories will bring more smiles than tears.
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
So true, thanks for sharing this poem! It has now been 10 days since we said goodbye to our sweet Lily and the pain still feels like a physical injury and her absence feels like a giant black hole in our lives and our home. I find myself looking to see if she'll be there on the couch or in bed with us or listening for the sound of her hopping excitedly up behind me when I open the treat closet. My head knows she won't be there but my heart just can't stop looking and hoping. And the tears are seriously like a floodgate has been opened.
I haven't thrown anything away yet, except for some of her disposable Pawz boots and all of the meds she took near the end that just serve to remind me of the awful part. I did hide a couple of her Pawz boots where maybe I would find them someday when I can think about how confident she was when she wore them, and that clopping noise they made that always told me she was eagerly headed back to me after her chemo treatments and blood work, and smile instead of cry. Unfortunately after her last seizure she was completely incontinent so I had to wash the pink blanket that I wrapped her in almost every night of her life (and always a little swatch of the blanket to cover her cold nose). It just broke my heart to wash that...
Still working on eating anything more than the bare minimum. Baby steps.
My husband really wants us to take an afternoon and go to the park where we would take Lily to chase the squirrels. He thinks he and I should get out there and chase the squirrels for her, anyone watching who thinks we're weirdos be dammed. I'm starting to think maybe he's right. After Lily's amputation, we kept her on a leash when she chased squirrels as she always tried to climb the trees after them and we were worried about her tearing her ACL. We have so many videos of us being yanked along at full sprint after a squirrel...and in every one you can hear us giggling and belly laughing throughout the whole video.
I have always thought that if you could see my aura or my spirit when I am with Lily that it would just SHINE with happiness. With her I smiled from my head to my toes every single day. That's just how awesome she was.
Lily the Great Dane (she was actually a lot more than just "Great") joined our family as an ornery puppy on December 20, 2005 and changed our lives forever. She was diagnosed with osteosarcoma in early May of 2014 and her right rear leg was amputated on May 8, 2014. She sailed through 5 rounds of Carboplatin and 15 weeks of Pallladia. She hopped on 3 legs like she was born to it and continued to fight cancer with grace, valor and an abundant sense of humor...and always a *giant* smile on her face. Lily had two small nodules on her lungs but was brought short by a brain tumor in late December, 2014. Lily earned her wings on December 28, 2014 and we miss her terribly every day. http://lilyt.tripawds.com
Let's all go out and chase some squirrels for Lily!!!! Don't worry squirrels, you have a far better chance of outrunning us than you would Lily.....even with three legs and on a leash!!
I loved what you ssid about your aura or your spirit....and know Lily's aura reflected the same shining light when she was with you!
Love,
Sally and My Eternal Light Hannah and Merry Myrtle too
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
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