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Grieving - when does it start to get better?
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Crossing the rainbow bridge
Member Since:
4 March 2012
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1 August 2013 - 10:12 pm
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I've made it through a couple days over the last few weeks without erupting into tears but it is still hard. We're honoring our little girl by walking in the Mutt March this weekend to benefit Chase Away Canine Cancer. I'm hoping that these little things we're doing will help us with the healing process.

Thank you again Tripawdies for your love and support!
Alicia

On The Road


Member Since:
24 September 2009
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2 August 2013 - 6:37 am
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Alicia, it's so good to hear from you.

Yeah, unfortunately you just can't rush the grief process, it eases up after a while but there's no getting around it when you've had such unconditional love in your life for so long.

Chase Away is a pawesome group, here is their website for folks who are interested in learning more. Enjoy the walk and take some pics for us, we'd love to see them.

Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet





Member Since:
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2 August 2013 - 6:46 am
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I agree you can't rush grief.  I am glad you are doing something in Daisy's honor.  :)   Please post pictures I know I would love to see them also.  :)

 

 

Hugs

Michelle & Sassy

sassymichelle-sm.jpg

Sassy is a proud member of the Winter Warriors. Live long, & strong Winter Warriors.
sassysugarbear.tripawds.com
07/26/2006 - Sassy earned her wings 08/20/2013

05/04/2006 -  Bosch, Sassy's pal, earned his wings 03/29/19  fought cancer for 4 months.

"You aren't doing it TO her, you are doing it FOR her. Give her a chance at life."

Virginia







Member Since:
22 February 2013
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2 August 2013 - 11:13 am
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Oh sweet Alicia-----the whole Tripawd community is gently hugging yo right now....I REALLY hope you can feel our presence and I KNOW you fee Doozie's presence with you! That Daisy Duke is ALWAYS with you.

That's lovely that you're doing the Mutt March to honor Daisy. I know it will be bittersweet and I also know it will feel your heart with pride because every step you take will honor the Doozie!!

Would you mind doing Happy Hannah and I a favor? Would you please sngle out twelve specific steps for us as our way of honoring her twelve years on this earth?? Big steps! With each step woud you please say, "Daisy Duke Doozie, your life mattered!! Thank you!" Thanks Alicia, we'd appreciate that.

Please post pictures, okay?

We're here Alicia! Daisy's here too-----just in a different form.. And so ehow, she's gonna sent you a little message on the march....look and listen for it and let us know what it was!

We love you!

Sally and Happy Hannah

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

My heart lives at Rainbow Bridge
Member Since:
28 November 2008
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4 August 2013 - 4:00 pm
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Alicia, what you are feeling is totally normal.  The tripawd journey is the most intense journey you will make with a pet.  They will become your life and soul, and even though reality tells you your time is limited, your heart just doesn't seem to want to allow you to move forward.

I was a basket case for weeks. The tears would flow for no apparent reason. It has now been 2 1/2 years for me, my heart is healing, but the void left there will never be replaced. I have two dogs now and they have helped, but they just don't hold the same place in my heart. My heart dog lives at the Bridge.

One of the things that finally allowed me to begin to heal was to acknowledge to myself I would never get over losing Trouble. It validated the pain and emptiness I felt. Once I could admit to myself that the pain in some form would always be there, I began to accept that it was good to remember the good times. 

Everyone processes the grief in their own manner. One of the things I tell people now is that over time you build enough scar tissue to minimize the pain, but without them your life will forever be changed.

Hang in there. You have a ton of supportive folks here, many of us who have walked in your shoes. You are not in this alone, and you aren't the only one who has felt the helpless loss you are feeling now.

Shanna & Spirit Trouble ~ Trouble gained her wings 3/16/2011, a 27 1/2 month cancer survivor, tail wagging. RIP sweetheart, you are my heart and soul.  Run free at Rainbow Bridge.
The November Five - Spirits Max, Cherry, Tika, Trouble & Nova. 11/2008 - 3/2013 An era ends as Queen Nova crossed the Bridge.

Member Since:
18 July 2013
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5 August 2013 - 12:06 am
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Hello Alicia; my name is Lora and I've recently joined Tripawds.

I just want to offer my condolences for the loss of your furbaby.  When we lose them, we are mutilated because we are part of each other.  People who have never had a dog cannot begin to understand the depth of a relationship between a person and their dog(s).  Some things that have helped me recover from one of my dogs passing are:

1.  Ben has a site at the Rainbow Bridge and I can go visit, change his decor and write something if I want to.

2.  I firmly believe dogs go to heaven; I think there are sites online that talk about this and if I didn't believe I would see my animals again I don't know what I would do.

3.  I have a pet rememberance book I bought on ETSY; think it's called Guided Pet Rememberance Journal and I need to work on that.  (Ben my chocolate lab passed in March 2012 and it's still hard)

4.  Made a donation to our local vets fund in honor of Ben called "Second Chance Fund"; it pays for vet bills for animals from the humane society

5. Am planning on buying a brick at the University of Wisconsin vet school.  The bricks are outside all around the clinic, hospital and school.  There are 3 lines you can choose; still have to decide what it will say.

6. Joined a pet resuce group-on weekends drive animals from one point to another.  The animals start out in overcrowded shelters in Ohio, Kentucky etc; shelters that euthanize animals. Each driver(s) takes a "leg" approx 70 miles; if the animals are going on to Minneapolis they stay overnight in a foster home in Madison WI and start out on Sunday for their destination-either elsewhere in WI or Minneapolis.

7. Last but not least, I have all my boys cremated.  Ben is in a beautiful wood box and when I die too, want all of our ashes buried next to my mom (who is not cremated).

8.  Going through your pictures and have some 5 x 7's or larger framed

Just remembered this; last summer I went to the local drug store/gift shop and saw a calendar with a picture of a dog on the cover that could have been a portrait of Ben.  I burst into tears, was able to get the name of the artist and bottom line was able to order a painting.  The painting hangs where I can always see it from "my chair".  The artist's name is John Weiss; he paints dogs.  Just to sit here and look at this painting that has one of Ben's expressions is so helpful.

Rainbow Bridge also has helpful info on it's site.

Sorry this is so long; I hope I've helped you with some ideas.  May God bless you and your Guardian Angels fold you in their wings and provide you comfort in your precious memories of your sweet girl.

 

Lora,  Gus and Oscar

Crossing the rainbow bridge
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4 March 2012
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18 September 2013 - 10:22 pm
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Hi Everyone,

 

Sorry I've been absent for a while.  The summer was a really hard time for the Tripawd family and I  had a difficult time coping with all the bad news.  I thank you so much for all your supportive words and ideas over the last few months.  I really couldn't have made it through without you <3.  I'm slowly getting back on track and trying to allow myself to be sad and cry when I need to.  I had a couple of weeks of vacation at the end of August and during that time, I went and got a tattoo of Daisy's front paw print over my heart.  While I'm not ready to look through her pictures yet, I did disassemble her kennel on Sunday (albeit crying the entire time).  Baby steps - right?

You are the best family ever and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Alicia xoxo

On The Road


Member Since:
24 September 2009
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20 September 2013 - 9:59 am
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Oh Alicia I know, it was Awful August which rolled right into September, we've had a lot of heartache here and when you're in the midst of it yourself the best thing you can do is focus on other things. I'm glad you had a good vacation, which obviously gave you some new strength and perspective.

Baby steps indeed. Putting our pup's belongings away is the hardest part, for sure. No need to rush, just follow your heart and when things feel right, proceed lightly. You'll get there. And thank you for updating us, we always want to hear how you're doing.

xoxo

Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet

Virginia







Member Since:
22 February 2013
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20 September 2013 - 10:38 am
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I LOVE the pawprint over you heart! Daisy Duke likes it too! And you know what, I bet she has your loving hand tatooed over hear heart! Yep! Pretty sure!

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

Member Since:
22 January 2013
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20 September 2013 - 12:12 pm
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It does take baby steps and time. I think the pawprint over your heart is a great way to honor her and actually have plans to do something similar. Time does make it easier but it's such a hard journey. The love we have for our furbabies doesn't diminish and it's sad that after they go over the bridge that love hurts so much.

 

 

Montana
Member Since:
1 February 2013
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20 September 2013 - 8:50 pm
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I love the way you have chosen to honor Daisy's memory. It has been hard to come on and hear of another passing as it seems reopen that fresh wound so never feel bad for not being here. It sounds like you are finding a way to cope that works for you and that is what really matters.

Thinking of you-
Luanne and Spirit Shooter

Spirit Shooter was a Miniature Australian Shepherd who was diagnosed with a MCT and had a LF amp 1/28/13 at 13-1/2 years old. 

Shooter crossed the Bridge on 8/28/13, his 7 month ampuversary and two weeks from his 14th birthday.

http://shooter......ipawds.com

Member Since:
13 March 2010
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21 September 2013 - 9:25 am
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Alicia,

Its just gonna take time and you are finding your way through the healing process. I was completely devastated when I lost my heart dog Rosa in 2005. Here are some of the things I did to help assuage my grief.

1. Made memorial candles--you know those glass 7-day candles (around my town you can even get them at Walgreens) with the pictures of Jesus, Mary, and various saints on them? You can get blanks and decorate them however you wish. I printed out photos of Rosa and pasted them on. Then decorated with stickers, sequins, and whatever struck my fancy.

2. Made a nicho in the Mexican tradition to honor my girl.

Rosa-nicho-back.jpgImage Enlarger

Rosa-nicho-front.jpgImage Enlarger

3. Made an altar and lit candles every night

Rosa_altar.jpgImage Enlarger

4. Adopted a new pup.

5. Joined a german shepherd rescue group and helped save the lives of many dogs.

6. Adopted three tripawd GSDs......

I still miss my girl and can bust out crying at totally random moments. It took 4 dogs to fill the hole in my heart that her passing left. But I am at peace, finally.

Sending you the strength and love of the Oaktown Pack,

Martha

Virginia







Member Since:
22 February 2013
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21 September 2013 - 4:05 pm
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Martha, that's a lovely tribute to your sweet Rosa. She clearly knew what love meant...you defined it for her...and I'm sure she defined it for you. Nothing can break that bond.

Thank you for sharing such a beautiful way to help heal.

Love to you, to Rosa and the whole Oaktwon Pack.

Sally and Happy Hannah

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!





Member Since:
16 October 2012
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21 September 2013 - 7:34 pm
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Martha,

That is a beautiful tribute to Rosa.  Thank you so much for sharing how you helped yourself get through the grief process.  I appreciate it

 

Hugs

Michelle & Angel Sassy

sassymichelle-sm.jpg

Sassy is a proud member of the Winter Warriors. Live long, & strong Winter Warriors.
sassysugarbear.tripawds.com
07/26/2006 - Sassy earned her wings 08/20/2013

05/04/2006 -  Bosch, Sassy's pal, earned his wings 03/29/19  fought cancer for 4 months.

"You aren't doing it TO her, you are doing it FOR her. Give her a chance at life."

Member Since:
18 July 2013
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30
21 September 2013 - 9:47 pm
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Alicia;

I'm glad you checked in!  What a wonderful tribute to your sweet girl to have her paw print tattooed over your heart--where she always has and always will live.

Grief is so personal and it has no timetable!  You do what you can when you can and you never "get over" your loss; you just learn to live with it.  Just  do what you need to: to survive and to keep going.  As I think I said before, I really believe that dogs (and most animals) go to heaven.   When my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer, I took care of her here at my house.  One day shortly before she died, she was sitting on the couch and I was standing in front of her; anyway she reached her hand and arm out and was pushing on my hip--trying to get past me and was annoyed because I was in her way.  When I asked what she was doing she said  "I'm trying to pet Jannie",  Jan was our Great Dane when I was in high school (I was 54 when she died) so I feel like there's a little proof but dogs are so wonderful, it just couldn't be heaven without them!

One thing  I haven't done, which I would like to is see a psychic or animal communicator (a real one--not a fake) and see if it's possible to "see to the other side" and just make sure things are ok??

Take care of yourself; I will continue to keep you in my prayers and pray for your comfort and peace.

Hugs and blessings;

Lora, Gus and   Oscar

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