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The loss of my best friend Maxwell, has left me with so many questions
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Virginia







Member Since:
22 February 2013
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25 February 2015 - 9:14 am
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Ohhhh Sharon, I'm smiling through my tears as I'm visualizing that adorable Maxwell and how he had you wrapped around his paw! He trained you sooooo well!!

Yes, we cannot wait to see pictures. Jerry will help you further when she gets off the mobile phone.. I know she'll explain far better than I, but if you have ohotobucket you can put a picture there from your gallery, then transfer it here. That's probably not much help. This coming from someone who took months before I coukd figure outnout to do it! I know Jerry will also offer ro have you email her the pictures and she'll npost them. Yeah, I did that a lot.

Sharon, something my vet said to me about one of my beloved dogs who hated being there..yet had to be there in the "end" as I was trying to save her from heart failure. Donut was her name. He said when dogs feel bad, they are not in nearly the fearful and anxious state they are in when they are not feeling so sick. He said they are just like is when we feel sick when we go to the doctor..we just don't feel well enough to put forth the energy to be anxious or fearful...we just feel yucky and just don't care. Maxwell showed you he wasn't fearful or upset when he allowed them to carry him in on a stretcher without making a fuss!

One more thing, Maxwell knew you were there with him as he was transitioned to the other side of this lofe. Even if he was under anesthesia, his SOUL heard you, his SOUL knew you were right by his side and his SOUL knew It was okay to be released from his body now and run with peace in his heart to the Bridge.

Maxwell KNOWS you didn't give up on him!!! To the contrary!!! You GAVE him the gift of release when he needed your selfless act of love the most!! . Maxwell KNEW he could count on you to understand his wishes. He knew you loved him that much!

That piece of crap disease could not touch Maxwell's Spirit...it could not invade his Soul!! And it can NEVER, EVER break the eternal connection you two have!

Thank you sooooo much for staying here with us and aloowing us the privilege of knowing Maxwell..and the wonderful love you two share! It has given me some great visuals of him at the Bridge training the Angels to give him scratches under his arms with their wings. I'm sure they are serving him Busy Bones on a silver platter...with no Milk Bones in sight!!

When my Hapoy Hannah transitioned to Spirit Energy, my heart was shattered into a billion pieces. The void was suffocating. I felt lie Icoukd barely move. I literally remember the waves of grief flooded me every day for two months...everyday. I HATED getting up in the morning...I HATED going to bed at night. I HATED walking into my home without her greeting me. I HATED having to remind myself there was no reason to rush home from work anymore. I HATED that all I could do was dwell on her transition.

Ten months later some of those feelings are still there and the crying still comes (far too often). But I LOVE that I had her in my life and I LOVE that I found this wonderful community of extended family who understood like no others could! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that she graced me with her presence and we shared glorious days and snuggly nights that will always be with me! Yes, when you love as much as we all do here on this site, the grief is nust as intense. To share the time we had together though....oh yeah...it was worth it all!!!

Sharon, it doesn't seem like it now, but I PROMISE, the good memories will start ro push the pain further and further into the background. And I know it's really hard to believe this now...okay....get ready.......Maxwell. WILL send you another dog who needs lpve and who will bring noy and silliness baxk into your life. It will be when you least expect it. And it will be Maxwell's choice and you'll nust have to trust that he knows what he's doing...and he does

My Happy Hannah sent me a five month old Bull Mastiff, Merry Myrtle, to bring me happiness and love. Most recently she sent me a three legged rescue Coon Hound, Frankie (Huckleberry...Festus...still working on a name other than his shelter name). Pay attention...he's already got something in the works!

YOU ARE NOT ALONE SHARON. Maxweel will always be with you! And he uided you here so we could help you through this! Maxwell will NOT be forgotten here! His life matters and his presence on earth made a difference!!!! And it still is...just from a different location.

Sending you love

Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

Martinsburg, WV
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3 June 2014
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25 February 2015 - 10:53 am
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Sharon,

I just wanted to let you know how very sorry I am for your loss of your precious Maxwell.  Losing our furbabies is never easy.  Like you I'm still left wondering what went so terribly wrong with my Leland.  He went in for a procedure (TPLO) to fix his left knee.  He had a "mass" in the knee that was removed and biopsied but was not cancerous however nobody could ever tell us what it actually was.  About a week and a half after the TPLO he was having his left hind leg amputated because he came down with an infection that the surgeon couldn't get under control and the screws would not hold in the meniscus and were bent.  4 weeks after amputation to the day we were letting our Leland go and he was only 4 1/2 years old.  His health deteriorated so quickly (autoimmune disorder, thyroid issues, and kidney issues).  We would have kept fighting all these illnesses except the ligaments in his right knee went out and our Leland could no longer walk.  We couldn't put him through a 3rd surgery within 6 weeks and frankly I don't think he could have pulled through with everything else he was fighting.

So I understand your frustration and sadness in not having a definitive answer in what happened to Maxwell.  I understand the questioning and self blame in wondering if all was done that could have been and what did I miss.  Maybe if I had paid better attention to Leland's health, maybe if I had done more/better research would my baby still be with me.  All I can say is for me these questions still float in my mind but they are not at the forefront like they were. 

Please know that we are here with you while finding your way through the grieving process.  We understand the loss and heartache you're feeling.  It's not easy but you will get through it.

Sahana and her Angel Leland

crying 

  

Leland

November 17, 2009 - June 30, 2014

May you finally be healthy and running free at the Rainbow Bridge. Until we meet again my sweet boy!

Norene, TN
Member Since:
21 October 2014
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25 February 2015 - 2:16 pm
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Sharon,

Just adding my condolences to this long list of amazing people. I couldn't read through your messages without remembering my own sweet Harmony who survived only 11 days post surgery. My heart is breaking for you. I'm adding a cyberhug here as well.

pam

Harmony became a Tripawd on 10/21/14 (MCT). She left us way too soon on 11/1/14.

"We miss you so much; our love, our heart, our Harmony."

- Pam, Ron and Melody, Meesha, Doublestuff and Mariah Carey


Member Since:
22 August 2008
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25 February 2015 - 7:03 pm
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I am sorry to be late to this discussion....

Unfortunately large breed dogs are prone to hemangiosarcoma, a very serious and malignant cancer that can attack the spleen, liver, or right heart.  They will grow slowly then suddenly rupture or bleed so the dog will collapse and have white gums.  Blood tests are usually normal (unless there is anemia form the bleeding).  A mass can usually be suspected on radiographs but often an ultrasound is needed to determine the extent of the disease. Sometimes there can be a benign mass involving only the spleen and that can be removed and the dog cured.  More often it is malignant and will spread at some later date so surgery is done to remove the bleeding organ or at least stop the bleeding.  I often have to tell people that you just don't know for sure until you get in there and sometimes I find that the bleeding is too severe so we will euthanize while the dog is still sleeping on the table or some dogs pass away on their own.  Many dogs survive at least a few months after surgery until the tumor spreads and the dog bleeds again.

Unfortunately your dog had multiple masses in multiple lobes of the liver so that tissue could not all be removed.  A person would need a liver transplant but we can not yet do that with our dogs.  This is a tumor that is most common in German Shepherds and Goldens but any large breed is susceptible.  I am so sorry that this happened to your dog.  It is always very shocking and so hard to understand that there are often no symptoms until the dog collapses/bleeds.  Sometimes we get lucky and find them on xrays because the dog is not eating and then we can remove the mass before any bleeding occurs.  Someday we might have a genetic screening test for this terrible cancer.

Pam

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