Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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I don't know where to post this or even if I should post this but I am hoping the amazing souls in the tripawds community can help me get through this.
I have to leave Jasper. For a week. Since I got Jasper, the longest I have left her is 4 days and they were the WORST 4 days of my life.
As way of background, I used to travel for work and got used to boarding Shelby. I used to travel all the time and Shelby was fine at the vet. But once she got sick, I refused to go out at night, refused to leave her side, left her only once while she was recovering from her spleen surgery and was only gone 24 hours.
Once I got Jasper, I somehow fell into a life where I wouldn't leave her. The look on her face when I would go out at night is heartbreaking so I make so much of a point to spend MORE time with her than less. She travels with me and I am home every night with her. Far different than some of the years with Shelby.
So I have to go to Austin for work this weekend and then am staying on a couple days to visit with a friend who just moved there. I want to cancel the trip. Well, I want to cancel the "fun" extra part of the trip. I am filled with anxiety about leaving Jasper. I know I won't sleep, I'll cry when I leave her, cry without her and basically be sick to my stomach until I get back. And worry ... worry, worry, worry. Every dark thought that could happen is in my mind right now.
Jasper is going to her daycare where she roams free and isn't in a cage. She knows her daycare peeps. She will be fine. She won't get into a fight in the middle of the night. But my will NOT remove dark thoughts from my mind. I am a basketcase and I don't leave until Sat.
The rational part of me tells me - all will be fine and I need to do this step to help further heal. But the irrational part of my mind is forcing me to freak the F out.
So any guidance, advice, support, ideas ... anything to help me get through this without losing my SH!T!!!! I will miss her so much and I hate the way that feels.
Thank you friends!
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
I know EXACTLY how you feel! The only advice I can offer is to take it a day at a time! Whenever I have had to be gone, I comfort myself that planes and trains and cars are available pretty much all the time, and I could hop home early if I had to! I also make sure my dogsitter is texting me updates and photos twice a day and keeping me posted on the happenings. It soothes me to know the kids are having fun, even if it doesn't involve me. I, of course, usually take the separation way harder than the kids do. Be Strong! Focus on the one day at a time! If you're miserable after a day or two of 'fun time', you can always pack it in early and head home, so you might as well enjoy it while you are there! Hang in there!
Cheers,
Kat and Astro
Mmmmnnn, this is a tough one! Maybe think of it as Jasper's vacation rather than yours? In other words, pack her bag, think of all the fun activities she will do ( wow! DOGGY DAY CARE WITH HER PEEPS!!!) and expect updates but know if you get one instead of two a day it is because she is busy being a woogly, happy go lucky, silly, and charming pup! And will be zonked from all the excitement! Keep as busy as you can while she is away and shop for PWESENTS in Austin! Best wishes on this new endeavor!
I also hate being away from Jack and have cancelled several trips because I worried about how she would do while we're gone. What I always try to remember is that the first day away is going to be the most difficult for her and then she'll adjust to her routine. By the second and third day, day care will be her new norm - until you come back and then she will be so happy to see you!
Hi Alison and little Jasper 🌹🐶
I totally agree you should see this as Jasper's holiday 🎉
She will be amongst people she loves, playing with other dawgs and generally being spoiled, I bet!
After you get the daily pictures/videos maybe you could do a journal of her holidays and post it for us ?
Although your heart feels anxious, confused and lost it shouldn't ... as Jasper will stay in a place which she knows by heart, no strangers and certainly no new territory 🏡💕
As others said, you can always come back earlier if need be 💨💨💨🚀
And, yes, get her some new outfits and gifts👗👘👒👛🎁💝
Lots and lots of 🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻 bear hugs going your way and little sweet Jasper's 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
Eurydice 77kg/170lb Great Dane limping end of April 2016, amputation (right front leg/osteosarcoma) 4 May 2016 6 courses of carboplatin followed by metronomic therapy, lung mets found 30 Nov 2016. 3 courses of doxorubicin, PET scan 26 Jan 2017 showed more mets so stopped chemo. Holistic route April 2017. Lung X-ray 5 May 2017 showed several tennis ball size mets, started cortisone and diuretics. Miss Cow earned her XXL silver wings 12 June 2017, 13 months and 1 week after amputation and 6 1/2 months after lung mets, she was the goofiest dawg ever and is now happily flying from cloud to cloud woof woofing away :-)
Once I got Jasper, I somehow fell into a life where I wouldn't leave her.
I understand this absolutely. But I also understand that it is really important that you feel able to leave her. Important for you and important for Jasper. You know this. That's why you added on a few days to see your friend, and personally I think this was a courageous decision and marks a huge step forward. Now you're freaking out and that is completely understandable. I'd be the same. But you have to be able to leave Jasper sometimes. You know you do. Your life revolves around Jasper. But you have to be able to have a break, to do the odd thing, or to go the odd place where Jasper isn't invited. And (this is the tough part) you have to allow yourself to enjoy it. Jasper will be absolutely fine. She'll be playing with her friends and being spoilt rotten. You are going to have a couple of days off Momma duty. Without those responsibilities. You'll be able to go out with your friend, without that stopwatch ticking in your head (how long has Jasper been on her own. I need to go. I can't have another drink etc. etc.) It is so important you feel able to do this. This will be good for your relationship with Jasper. I wholeheartedly believe that. I'm not saying it will be easy. I know it won't be easy. But I do think it is brilliant you are doing it. And next time it will be easier.
Big hug,
Meg, Clare and Elsie Pie xxx
Ruby, Staffy, born June 2022, became a Tripawd, 23 November 2023, adopted 12 January 2024.
Also Angel Tripawd Meg (aka The Megastar), who died in April 2023, aged 14, after seven glorious years on three, and Angel Staffies Pie and Bille. In the pawprints of giants...
Awww . . . bless you my friend! I know exactly what you're suffering from.
You are over-thinking. I suffer from this as well. Mine will quickly escalate to anxiety if not checked (runs in the family).
For what it's worth: My secret? . . . First, recognize the pattern. Then nip it in the bud by visualizing a big ole stop sign in front of you (this works the best for me) or visualize looking out a window through open blinds and then shut them (this works for me when I'm trying to go to sleep).
My biggest problem is remembering to do it once I start the over-thinker's "loop".
There's a lot out there (Google) about over-thinking and/or hyper focus. Find what works for you so you can practice before you leave on Saturday.
Harmony became a Tripawd on 10/21/14 (MCT). She left us way too soon on 11/1/14.
"We miss you so much; our love, our heart, our Harmony."
- Pam, Ron and Melody, Meesha, Doublestuff and Mariah Carey
I have NEVER seen such BAD ADVICE and completely INADEQUATE advicer EVER given here like I have just now!!! These replies are outrageous and waaaay off base!!!!
Now, here's THE best advice EVER!!!
CANCEL THE TRIP!!!!! C A N C E L. T H E. T R I P!!!
DROP YOUR FRIEND LIKE A H O T. P O T A T O!!!!!
Oh you silly little California Goose!!! You've gotten TERRIFIC, SPECTACULAR ADVICE, WISDOM AND SOLUTIONS from everyone!!!!
Your "rational mind", as well as everyone here, have already answered your concerns. As Pam has said, now it's a matter of breaking the pattern...the cycle...of those fear based groundless, completely false thoughts continuing to escalate as though they are real...as though they are actually happening! You say it over and over enough in your head, and your body starts going into panic mode as through these things have already happened! Your body...yiur emotions...don't knkw the difference between what's real and what's not! As Pam said, develop a "technique" to STOP your mind in it's tracks and YOU take control of your thought. It starts with changing your focus...changing your physiology.....changing your emotional state..
All I can say is, Paula has a great strategy she learned in the Chat room last night....and I'll leave it at that!
Let us know if you need help coming up with one...eh....eh.....we're more than eager to develop a very California specific strategy
We looooove you Alison!!! I hope you feel it!!! I'd put a few little heart icon things here, vut my "maximum number has exceeded five".....grrrr
Much love!
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Alison, I go through this EVERY time I leave Chandler! For some reason, I feel the other 2 will be fine without me, but not him. I usually find a silly reason to visit the vet just to reassure myself that he is healthy. I leave detailed notes, bag all 3 pups meals individually and do all sorts of over the top stuff. I can make myself physically sick thinking about going on a trip. I don't like to go a lot because of this. So, I know exactly what you are feeling. I am usually good after a day or so. And guess what, he has always been totally fine. Everyone has given great advice, I just wanted you to know you are not at all alone in how you are feeling. Both my dog sitter who stays here and the neighbor girls sent me daily pictures which helps. Maybe, you can get one of those chat cameras. Somehow, they hook on their collar or something. Trust me, the thought has crossed my mind. 😆 Try to relax and enjoy your time away. When you get back, you can celebrate another hurdle in your healing journey cleared. ❤️ Lori, Ty and gang
TY GUY, Best Black Lab ever! Diagnosed and had amp in January, 2014. Kicked MRSA's butt. Earned his angel wings on April 16, 2014. Run Free my boy and don't forget a shoe. Ty is a proud member of the " April Angels". Ty sent us Daryl, a Tripawd rescue in Sept. of 2016. Daryl is 5 +or -. We are also Pawrents to Chandler, a Border Collie mix who is 15 and 1/2, Lucy, a Corgi who is 7, 2 minis, 2 horses, and a feisty cat named Zoe. Zoe had a non skeletal Osteosarcoma removed in July 2015. No Chemo, she was at least 16. She is going strong although she is now completely blind. She is now close to 20 and her hobbies are eating and sleeping in front of her personal heater.
Alison ~
As a parent, the first time I went on any kind of a vacation without my son was for my honeymoon - my son was almost 12! It was just a week, and he stayed with his aunt for part of the time & his dad for part of the time, and I talked to him pretty much every day, but it was so hard!!! But we both lived through it 
Every time we go on vacation it's hard to leave the animals. Luckily we've never had to board them at the vets. Usually either my son stays with them or if he goes with us, our groomer will board the dogs & we find someone to check on the cats. Of course it's been harder the past couple of years with Murphy - every time I start to plan, I doubt ... is it ok to make plans? should I make plans? will Murphy be around? what if something happens with him while we're gone, or just before we leave? ugh!! I guess we can't put our whole lives on hold ... so we keep going, and believing that things will work out.
You got this! Jasper will be fine! And just like kids do, she won't hardly realize that you're gone until you come home! 
Donna
Donna, Glenn & Murphy
Murphy had his right front leg amputated due to histiocytic sarcoma at 7 years old. He survived 4 years, 2 months & 1 week, only to be taken by hemangiosarcoma at 11 1/2 years 6/12/17
Read about Murphy's Life on Three Legs
Dearest friends!!! Thank you SO much! I am beyond comforted by your words of wisdom and support and love ... In light of my last blog post on Shelby's blog .. I feel like a total contradiction right now. But like they say .. one step forward, two steps back.
Jasper is healthy ... happy ... young .. and will be 100% SAFE at daycare (where she is today BTW however she didn't feel like going and that is probably because I was off yesterday and spent the day with her).
My mind is my worst enemy ... always .. and when I go to the dark place, it is really hard to pull myself out of it. I had horrible dreams last night ..Shelby was there, older and ill and I was unable to get to her ... then a dog from childhood, Misty, made an appearance as I was juggling Jasper and Misty and couldn't handle the both. Needless to say .. I am a hot mess and it's only tuesday!!! LOL
So I am going to try and practice what I preach and read here and be a dog, be in the moment, in the now and know that this is for the best as uncomfortable as it may be. And try to practice a little kindness to myself.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
"And try to practice a little kindness to myself"
DITTO THAT
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Do you have face time on your phone? Maybe one of the workers does too and you could face time during the week so you could see Jasper and know she's happy and contented? I get your feelings though. I'm the same way. Leaving Riley is the hardest part of going somewhere. Especially now that I'm retired and spend all my time with him. I know it's harder on us like everything else. My son has told me "mom dogs can't tell time". That may be true but it's still hard. Probably you'll find that the anticipation of actually leaving will surpass the actual event. 😀😀
Gator has his first boarding coming up. He will stay for 4 nights at the same place he goes to daycare. They post photos of the dogs on Facebook.
Otis - 106 pound lab/Dane mix, lost his right front leg to osteosarcoma on Febuary 9, 2016. Four rounds of carboplatin completed in April, 2016. Lung mets August 25, 2016. Said goodbye too soon on September 4, 2016. Lost his adopted sister, Tess, suddenly on October 9, 2016. likely due to hemangiosarcoma.
Wherever they are, they are together.
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