My Soul Is Set Free
The next day we headed north to Yellowstone. It was just like the old days, traveling and hanging my head out the truck window.
I even made it up to the Continental Divide, for about the eighth time in our journey. Only this time, walking a few yards to the sign was all I had in me.
We took lots of pictures. As we got to Yellowstone, I was feeling OK, but very subdued from the bad episode the day before.
When we first started traveling with Jerry, we knew that his time would eventually come. If it happened while we were on the road, our biggest nightmare was that we would have to cope with it in some place we didn’t want to be in, some busy city with an unsympathetic vet who didn’t know anything about Jerry.
A few days before we got to Yellowstone, I called Calpurnia’s Mom, TC., whose sister lives just outside the park. She gave me the name of a vet there, in McAllister, Montana. I tucked it away in the “just in case” file.
That night, my breathing was a little raspy, and my heavy panting continued. My legs felt like jelly, and I was having a harder time getting up and turning around in bed.
Mom and Dad slept in the next morning. At 8:30 am when Mom woke up, she thought it was strange that I hadn’t made noises to go outside. I heard her get out of bed, and as she walked over to me saying “Morning Jerry!”, she looked down, and saw that I had wet my bed.
“Oh nooooooo! Jerry, baby!” Mom cried out. Our eyes met, and as I lay there, I looked up and told her; “Mom, I’m so sorry, I just couldn’t get up to tell you. Mom, I’m tired.”
Dad got up to see why Mom was crying. She hovered over me, tears running down her face. I was still laying there. I could not find it in me to get up out of my wet bed.
“It’s time,” Mom said to Dad. “This is it.”
We knew it. This was the sign that we needed to know that his dignity was slipping away.
We always knew that if Jerry’s health was going to decline because of this stupid cancer, we would measure his dignity by whether or not he could get up to go potty on his own.
We realize there are many dogs out there that need help in this area, but are still living otherwise healthy, happy lives. In Jerry’s case, we felt that if the cancer’s effects coincided with incontinence, he would not be living the kind of life he was born to live.
The events of the previous few weeks, along with the incontinence, was the sign that we needed to call the vet in McAllister.
Making that call to the vet was the hardest thing we ever had to do. Explaining our traveling situation to total strangers. Detailing Jerry’s health problems coherently, without going into hysterics. Asking them to help us say goodbye. Luckily, Dr. Cashman was incredibly sympathetic, and agreed to help us that day.
We cleaned up Jerry, put him in the truck, and drove away from Yellowstone. It took everything we had to stay calm and centered, for his sake.
We drove quietly for two hours through the beautiful mountains. The vet’s little office was located at the end of a rural country road, in a setting that felt like home. Puffy white clouds floated across the big blue sky. This was the classic picture of Big Sky Country, Montana.
We went inside to meet Dr. Cashman. Our fears were put aside as we met a wonderful group of women who run the Meadow Creek Vet Clinic. Showing a great deal of compassion, they understood our situation as traveling fulltime RVers, and took the time to explain the euthanasia procedure to us.
Dr. Cashman would use two injections: one to sedate Jerry, and then a second drug which would be responsible for saying goodbye. She gently suggested that we allow her to use a catheter for the injection (a nominal extra fee) as dogs who have been on steroids typically have collapsed veins that are hard to locate. A catheter would make the injection go a little smoother, and be less stressful for everyone involved. We are so grateful she told us about that, and followed her advice.
Mom and Dad went inside for a while, then came outside. I was surrounded by an adoring fan club, and Dr. Cashman was one of them. She was wonderful!
Dad helped me get out of the truck, and got my Barney blanket and some of my favorite stuffed toys. I plopped down on the lawn next to the office, and everyone loved and cuddled me.
Some dogs were barking out back, in the boarding kennels. I hopped over to them, and said “See ya on the other side, guys.” I plopped down tired, then went back to lay down on my blanket with my Dad’s help.
We spoke to each other in dog, that language that only pawrents and their furry kids understand. Mom and Dad’s eyes were all watery, and they thanked me for all that I’d done for them. We made promises to meet up again some day.
Then, Dr. Cashman and her assistant held me close, and gave me lots of love. I felt a tickle on my leg, but I wasn’t scared at all. I was just so tired.
One needs to be totally prepared for the final vet visit when the time comes. There is no second guessing at this point. We decided to remain with Jerry during the procedure, keeping our promise to be with him until the bitter end. Not knowing what to expect, we did the best to prepare ourselves for the worst. And though the tech had a difficult time finding a good vein for the catheter, once it was in, his passing was quick and peaceful.
“You’re going to be OK,” Mom told me. “Thank you Jerry,” said Dad. Tears began to flow, but they feigned strength as they stroked my fur and held me close.
Within a minute or two, I felt so much better. All of my pain was gone, and I was free again!
Up I went through the sky, my spirit soaring high above the big puffy clouds! I was running again! Chasing rabbits and chickens! Swimming! And then I saw Lalla . . .
Some harsh realities do exist that one must also be prepared for, if they choose to know. Being the first time for us, we found it therapeutic to know.
Once I was released from my broken body, my pawrents laid with me quietly for nearly a half hour. My muscles didn’t move as the vet mentioned they might. But my eyes didn’t close either, as she said they wouldn’t.
In search of total closure, my dad requested that he carry me inside. The vet cautiously told him that I would be kept in a freezer until the funeral home could pick me up the next day. He acknowledged the fact, and also understood my limp body must be put in a bag. He helped the vet do this, then gently laid me to rest, knowing that at this point I was free and my body was but a shell. A broken shell at that.
My pawrents made the smart decision to pay for the visit up front so they could just leave afterwords. And it was probably the least expensive vet visit I ever had! While they silently drove back to Yellowstone, my dad swears he sensed me running through the sky along side the truck, all the way.
As hard as it was, we were extremely fortunate for this to happen in such a beautiful place, with such wonderful people. Even the sweet folks from At Home on The Range pet cemetery helped make this more bearable than we ever thought it could be.
We said goodbye to Jerry on a Friday. When we inquired on Monday about his remains, they said he was ready and offered to meet us as we passed through town to deliver a beautiful tin in a velvet bag.
Jerry will keep traveling with us until we find that special piece of land with the large shady tree to call his forever home.
Announcements:
I just watched the show for the second time and then came and read the comments; Jerry and his people have affected so many of us.
My adored Rug now is almost 12 years old; I found him in a shelter when he was about 8 weeks old- a dear little soft black puppy whose tail wagged when I touched him. He grew quickly to a fluffy 55 pounds. Neighborhood children including toddlers are all safe with him; I’m safe with him. We’ve camped and traveled 20,000 plus miles together but he’s also stayed by me while I was sick in bed for a week at home. Don’t know how he managed but he only got up when I did which wasn’t often. I sat with him while he was in the hospital with an obstruction.
He smiles with me when I’m happy and stays quietly by me when I’m sad. He loved obedience classes and loves the little adult female dog I took in from the street; loves going anywhere as long as it is with me. We like being together.
I’m hoping, hoping, that your experiences with Jerry will prepare me for Rug’s life’s ending. He means so much to me; I need all the help and preparation I can get. Thank you for your courage in sharing Jerry’s life with all of us – to face the diagnosis and go on as you did was hard enough but to write the experiences of the last week must have been excruciating.
Pat, your beautiful note brought tears to our eyes. You are so kind for watching the show and sharing your story with us, thank you so very much.
What a life you and Rug have shared! How fortunate that you’ve had 12 years together, we hope there are many more.
It’s so hard to think about saying goodbye, but remember, that fear is a human thing. It’s never easy watching our friends grow old, but caring for them throughout their senior years is such an honor. Take it one day at a time, never take life for granted and always remember that with each new day, our dogs are always teaching us new lessons even as age takes its toll.
All of those memories and comforting times you both shared will forever stay in your heart, and Rug will always be proud knowing how much he taught you about life. Hang onto those lessons and never let go.
Many hugs,
Rene, Jim, & Spirit Jerry
Ditto. Thanks so much for the thoughtful comment Pat.
I bet if you ask Rug, he’d say the best possible way you can prepare for any inevitable ending, is to just forget about it until then and enjoy every moment together with him, in the now.
I love, love, love all of the stories, comments, pictures, overall site and the show I found on PBS (where I first found Jerry). I am and have been an animal lover starting from the youngest age. I lost my…forever dog in 2006 after spending the majority of my life…up to right after my 18th birthday loving my little man. (From age 6 apx) I cannot count the tears I’ve cried reading through various pages…And Jerry remains an inspiration!!!! When I heard about the travels my heart just melted because I appreciated that you guys together made his experience wonderful throughout even the hardest times. I just loved hearing your sincere love and dedication to your companion!!!! I know right before my dog was diagnosed with having Jaundice….We went for a very long walk and even so he didn’t want to go home…and I just kept going because he just wanted to keep walking… little did I know it would be the last….:’(
I admire your story, and I just wanted you to know that you have warmed my heart.
Thank you Marilyn. You just warmed our hearts too.
i saw the program and was so impresssed with the courage jerry had shown. i also understand your efforts to allow jerry to experience whatever possible in life and in his fading life.
i too, had two ‘grils, biscuit(welsh corgi + chow= chorgi and piddy(akita + pit bull= pitika) who trailed along w/me for 12 & 13 yrs respectively until jan of this yr when piddy finally left this plane of existence. i am now ‘single’again and came to realize how my dogs & i had become coupled in spirit.
i see that in your relationship w/jerry with some kinds of love in this world so strong and perfect that we are blessed to say we had it.
We were truly blessed indeed to have shared our lives with Jerry. Thanks for noticing and taking the time to comment.
As the owner of a 12 yr old golden retriever that has been showing her age, my thoughts and prayers to you for sharing your love for of your special family member… I watched the show Valentines night while visiting Cape Cod and it brought me to tears. So happy that Jerry made it to the Atlantic and his paws got a taste of our ocean. May you find comfort in your lives and hopefully the ability to love another “gem of the Spca” again
Thank you for the kind comments, it definitely brings comfort Gina. Playing in the Atlantic when we got to Maine was certainly a milestone for Jerry. Here’s the movie.
First of all thank you for sharing your story. Scott and I are going through something similar with our dog Stump. We got Stump (a Jack Russel Terrier) 17 years ago when he was 16 weeks old. He is our first dog. We live in Western Massachusetts, near the Connecticut River, we took him to the river shortly after we got him – first thing he did was jump in the river and start swimming for the other side!! Since then, we have not been able to stop him from swimming. Lakes, ponds, the River, the Atlantic Ocean, you name it, he loves to swim in it. We take him everywhere with us – he even goes to work with me every day – yes I’m very lucky to work at a place that allows me to bring in my dog. In October of 2006 he was diagnosed with Hemangiopericytoma – which can be removed, but then will grow back a little more agressively – by the time he was diagnosed, Stump was already 14, and had never been under anesthesia – we were not sure how well he would take it, but decided that the tumor had gotten so large, that we had to do something. We had the tumor removed, everything turned out fine. We had originally tried chemotherapy, but Stump had a bad reaction to the meds – he had 3 grand mal seizures, so we stopped the chemo. Then, in December of ’07, he was diagnosed with Glaucoma and we were told that his eye had to be removed because it was causing him so much pain. So just 3 days before Christmas, his eye was removed. We could tell right away that he felt so much better – it was a good decision all around. Now, here we are 2 years and 5 months after the original tumor was removed with another tumor growing rapidly. Stump still does all the things we used to do, just a might bit slower. Removing this second tumor, from what the vet has told us, might not be an option this time around – they tend to grow more invasive, and he is 17 years old after all. The tumor is located in his chest cavity, and we have noticed that his breathing has become a little more strained in the last 3 weeks. Knowing that the day will come when we have to say goodbye is really really hard. Knowing that he has had a fantastic life and many many adventures with us, and that we have given him the best that we can doesn’t make it any easier to say goodbye. Thanks again for sharing your story.
Wow, 17 years! You are so fortunate to have had so much time with Stump, and he is very fortunate for having you. Bless you for taking such good care of him. When Jerry’s breathing worsened in his final weeks, Prednisone helped extend his quality of life. Best wishes for much more quality time with you and Stump. Thanks for sharing.
We watched your story on PBS and just finished reading about Jerry going to the Rainbow Bridge.
We have lost several pets and have stayed with each one while the vet helped them find their way-it does not get any easier…but it is the least we can do after all they have given us through the years. I’m glad you found the strength to be with Jerry. You were all fortunate to have each other and be such a great family.
We are so sorry about Jerry. While he will never be replaced-that spot in your hearts will always belong to him-maybe one day you can grow another area of love next to Jerry’s spot to share with another lucky dog.
Thanks Becky, it is indeed our responsibility to help our companions pass peacefully when their time comes … as incredibly hard as it is. Bless you for taking the time to find out more about Jerry and comment.
I had to find out the end about your wonderful dog, Jerry. In the last four years my dad and baby sister died and I’m caring for my mom who is 93, on hospice and failing rapidly. My dog, Teddie, is all the family I have left. I took him for his vaccinations six weeks ago and later that night the lymph nodes in his neck swelled like baseballs. He also started losing rate at an alarming rate. I took him to the local vet and he said he thought he had cancer — and tests revealed he did, lymphoma, which if left untreated meant he would be dead in two to four WEEKS! The vet recommended a cancer specialist. In the specialist’s waiting room I met other worried owners like myself, some with survivors who told tales of hope. The vet said chemo would buy my Teddie from six months to two years. For a 12 year old dog, the odds were good enough for me. He has had zero trouble with the chemo and his blood work has been excellent. I know chemo puts the cancer in remission (lymphoma is incurable) but I just pray he will be with me longer so I will not be all alone before I can handle it. One thing Teddie does now which shows he knows we are a circle of strength for each other is make sure he reaches out a paw and touches me while I touch mom. Nothing fazes his love for either of us and nothing scares him either not even her noisy oxygen machine and air bed, nothing. I don’t know what I’ll do without mom, but I thank God my soulmate, Teddie, will be at my side, at least a little longer to see me through and accompany me on the walks we take each morning to watch the sun rise on another day.
Thank you for taking the time to find out more about Jerry’s story, and thank you for sharing yours. You are a strong soul for enduring what you’ve been through, and are blessed for having Teddie by your side to help.
I’m so moved by your story and so sorry for your loss. Jerry seemed like such a great soul and you both were such amazing people to take him on that wonderful cross-country journey together.
I had to make the painful decision to put my 10 year old siberian husky down in January. It is the most heart wrenching decision one has to make and the only hope we can have is that we will meet them again when it’s our time.
I wish you both peace in the coming years as you try to go on without Jerry. It will be difficult i’m sure, but Jerry is in the afterlife thinking what an amazing ride he had because of you, and will be waiting for the day when you reunite.
Erin (Boston, MA)
Thank you for the kind comments Erin. Hearing from animal lovers such as yourself who have been touched by Jerry’s story makes missing him just a little bit easier. Thanks.
Recorded show last week. Finally sat down & watched today. What a sweet soul Jerry was & what fabulous pawrents he had. I went right away to your website & read more of your story. My heart hurts for your loss. I lost my Tara Bug to lymphoma 8 years ago (she was 11)& I miss her still today. I also thought of chemo, etc but so little was known about it then that I chose quality instead of quanity.
One of the worst days of my life was the day I had to say goodbye to her. Absolutely killed my soul. We spent the day before sharing an icecream cone & just snuggling together. I have 4 dogs & two cats now but the bond between Tara & I will alwyas be that really special one I will never forget as I am sure Jerry will be for you.
God Speed sweet Jerry, God Speed & Thanks to your pawrents for sharing your story with us.
Donna, you are so kind, thank you. We’ve always heard that there is a “forever dog” in every dog person’s life, that dog who simply stands out above all others they will ever come to know and love. Tara Bug was yours, and Jerry was ours. While these stellar fur kids can never be replaced, it’s comforting to know that there is hope that one day we’ll be able open our hearts and home to more dogs. Thanks for sharing your story with us. Many hugs. -Rene, Jim & Spirit Dog Jerry
Thank you both for sharing one of the most difficult times you will ever experience. Especially thank you to Jerry for sharing his life with two very extraordinary people. I have shared your deep sadness and your happiness with my beauties too. Our pets are so Special. I am sure, without a doubt, that Jerry will forever be your angel/guardian on the other side. I have one soul in particular that keeps returning in various ways to check on me. I know some people will think I’m loony but I don’t care.
I’d like to help put a smile on your faces… are you familiar with Nora the piano playing cat? Just go to You tube and tyoe in Nora. Her catrent is a piano teacher who plays duets with Nora. It’s delightful!
Those same people are going to think we’re loony too then since we continue to be blessed by visits from Jerry. Thanks for commenting and being part of our crazy club!
On a rainy Sunday afternoon I chanced upon the “Why we love cats and dogs” PBS Nature program. Honestly, I didn’t need anyone to tell me why these two separate (yet equal
) species mean soooooo much to us, but decided to sit in anyway.
The story of Jerry was another thing entirely. I applaud your decision to travel with Jerry. Anyone who thinks you were nuts simply doesn’t get it. I empathized with both your joy and grief, and could not watch the closing portions of the show without tears in my eyes. The blog was a poignant tribute that took me a while to get through with the tears rolling down my face.
Jerry’s story is actually one that is full of joy. Seeing him live a full life when initially given such short odds is remarkable and moving. Thank you for sharing a story that is vibrant, full of life, lessons, and above all, love.
Michael
It feels so good to hear from so many animal lovers out there who see the incredible joy at the heart of our story, and indeed Jerry’s life. Thanks for tuning in and taking the time to comment.
What a wonderful and moving story you shared. I’m sitting here, 3 dogs sleeping in the other room ( and husband too come to that!!) tears dripping off my face onto the cat purring on my lap. What devoted and generous, loving “pawents” you are. I will be holding my loved ones a little closer tonight and thanking Jerry for reminding us all to live in the Now Now Now.
And what a wonderful image of your pack you shared with us … Thanks for loving your animals and living in the now.
I just caught the very end of the show on PBS. I am so sorry that you lost your friend, but I am also happy that you had the chance to experience giving love to and getting love from a great dog. I have 2 dogs…one who is about 12 (was a stray so we don’t actually know how old he is) and who has started slowing down over the past year or so. The shorter walks, the increased panting, both unwelcome reminders that our sweet boy will not be with us forever. Through my tears, I read your story and know that it will help us decide when the time comes to show the purest form of love by letting our dear friend Curly go when he tells us it’s time.
I do have a question…I didn’t see the whole show, so I don’t know how you knew initially that Jerry was sick and needed the amputation. Was it through a routine examination? Or was he displaying some type of signs? Our Curly has recently been having this hacking cough, sometimes just as he’s walking, but most often if he’s laying down and almost rolls over on his back. Our vet told us that this cough is something some dogs do as they get older. Curly is in every other way in good health and still has many, many more days to spend with us, but it’s still hard not to think about the inevitable days waiting for us in the future.
I believe that dogs are one of God’s greatest gifts. Thank you so much for sharing your dog story. Bless you and I hope that, when it’s time, you’ll experience a dog’s love again.
You can watch Jerry’s Nature episode online. Segment #2 has the first part of our story.
To answer your question, Jerry initially presented with a persistent limp. A cough comes much, much later with cancer dogs. But remember this, every day is inevitable. Curly wouldn’t want you to worry. Thanks for commenting. So much more about our entire life with Jerry can be found in his blog here, the discussion forums and our travel blog.
Compassion, courage, caring and living in the now! How wonderful that you three forged such a loving bond! I am weeping as I type, because I love animals and the joy that we can share together, if we humans can only be open to the abundant gifts
that companion animals can bring to our lives.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Compassion, courage, caring and living in the now! Exactly. The essence of Jerry and all furry companions. Thanks for getting it.
I am so sorry for your loss. I just saw your story on PBS and had to know what happened to Jerry. I am so glad I did. Thank you so much for sharing Jerry’s story with us all. I truly wish there were more people like you both in the world. Most of us will wish to experience the things that Jerry did, and that he was able to is great. You both are a wonderful inspiration to anyone who has pets, as is Jerry.
Thanks again for sharing one of the most difficult thing pet parents have to go through, Jerry will never be forgotten.
Nicole
Thank you for the comment and condolences Nicole. It feels so good to know that Jerry will never be forgotten – not just by us, but by so many wonderful animal lovers out there such as yourself.
your story of jerry breaks my heart. I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t help but to think of my ” little man ” who i lost three years ago, henry.
I found henry on the Henry Hudson Parkway 168th street on my way home from class. I was wearing a LL bean jacket good for 30 below zero and i was miserable from the cold. I spotted him on the entrance ramp sitting in the snow. I had to pull my car over pick him up , put him in the car. It was to be the beginning of a great 8 year journey . I too felt robbed of precious time . my henry had a osteosarcoma.
again I am so sorry for your loss, how truly loved jerry was and is. They are glorious beings aren’t they.
Thanks for the comment Liz! They are glorious beings indeed. We were blessed to have Jerry, and honored that his story has touched so many good people out there like you. Thanks for sharing Henry’s story with us.
Your touching story about Jerry really brought back some memories of my beloved German Shepherd, Sadie, who passed at 13 years old from kidney failure. Boy how they will hang on because they take their responsibilities of caring for their families so seriously. This was in 2004 for us.
We have since adopted two “senior” dogs. One is a black Lab/Border Collie mix that spent 7 months languishing in a shelter at the age of 5. His name is Jake and he is so well behaved and loyal that I cannot imagine someone ever giving him up. We “adopted” a 2nd dog in October of 2008 when a woman noticed a yellow Lab sitting along the desolate dirt road to her house all day long in the rain. The dog remained at dusk so she brought her home. All attempts to find her owners were fruitless. She had no microchip. Nobody claimed her despite numerous ads placed. The woman couldn’t keep her because she had a dog and an exotic cat with a bad temper.
I took her in – she was said to be around 8-10 years. She has a fatty cyst on her underbelly that the vet says is fine as long as it doesn’t bother her. She did seem arthritic at first, and very depressed. We put her on a senior dog food, supplemented with glucosamine and hydrocondroitin and took her to our human chiropractor. She was very afraid. After her adjustment and being in our “child-rich” family, she learned that she was worthy of love and in came out in her new-found health and renewed spirit.
Roxy is off glucosamine/hydrocondroitin now. She doesn’t need it at all and runs and jumps like a pup. She absolutely LOVES our kids and is the equivalent of a saint when it comes to our 2 year old who likes to hang out with her on the dog bed and read stories.
In these two old dogs, I see bits and pieces of my old Sadie. Not like her reincarnated or anything, but just little snippets of memories I shared with her. Little idiosynchrasies that make me smile.
I hope that one day you will meet a dog whose eyes you can see Jerry’s spirit in. The dog won’t look like Jerry but you’ll see a tiny piece of him there that will tell you you’re looking into the eyes of an old kindred spirit.
I wish you all the peace in the world and I thank you so much for sharing your story with us.
Best wishes,
Stephanie Dodson
Portland, OR
Thanks for taking the time to comment and share the love you have with your pups Stephanie. We see the spirit of Jerry in so many things these days that we’re certain the time for another pup will come … someday. Some place.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope that the story on Nature isn’t dredging up bad memories for you both. What a great companion Jerry was. I’m sure your hearts are broken and I hope that you can find comfort in the great memories that you have of Jerry.
I’ve had to say goodbye to several pets during my life time. I feel honored that I was allowed to love them and be loved by them.
Bad memories? None! Jerry would have none of that. And thanks to wonderful comments from caring folks such as yourself, the only thing getting dredged up is lots of love. Thanks for the comment!
Thank you for sharing your story. You gave Jerry such a beautiful life – I aspire to give Tu a life as wonderful as the one you gave to Jerry and for all the same reasons – For all the joy Tu brings into my life, moment by moment, for all I have learned from him.
It isn’t easy putting into words the gift of a pet … is it?
Thanks Dani, and you are so right … there is no way to express the amazing gift each animal shares with his or her forever people. May you and Tu continue to enjoy life to the fullest, every day, no matter what. Peace.
I just wanted to tell you how very much your story touched my wife and I. We lost our beloved cat Thea three years ago. In a home accident she broke her tail, which is part of a cat’s spine. We had one final night with her before we found out what the diagnosis was, and that she would never be able to go to the bathroom on her own again. How we would have loved more time with our girl. I think it is just beautiful that the two of you know how very blessed you were to have had those last months with Jerry. It is wonderful to see other pet parents so in love with their babies. Blessings, Tracey Love
Tracey, thank you so much, we are honored to be able to share Jerry’s story with good people like you.
We are so sorry about Thea. We had no idea that a cat’s tail is so important. Wow. We are so, so sorry. Try to remember though, that it’s not the amount of time that a cat or dog is on this earth, but it’s about the quality of life and lessons that animal teaches us during that timeframe that really matters. I’m sure your kity taught you so much.
Many hugs to you.
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I watched the Nature program and could not stop thinking about Jerry. I had to go on the website to read more about him and your lives. Jerry was a beautiful creature with an amazing soul. We who love and are loved by these loyal animals are so blessed. While it is incredibly difficult to make the tough medical decisions, you did the right thing by helping Jerry pass on to his next chapter. He was not affraid, he was not sad. We have so much to learn from these guys.
Although I have always had cat companions, I came to dogs late in life. We got our first dog 7 years ago, and then adopted his little sister 5 tears ago. Our lives have never been the same. My only regret, is that I waited so long to enjoy the grace and beauty of canine companionship.
I cannot imagine my life without them. Thank you so much for sharing your sad, beautiful, happy and touching story. I fell in love with Jerry. I know he is happy and well in the only heaven worth going to…Doggy Heaven.
I will hug my two loud and crazy schnauzers a little closer tonight.
It will be a wonderful legacy to Jerry’s memory when you open your home and hearts to another wonderful furry soul.
May God bless you and keep Jerry in His eternal loving embrace.
Leonor
Best wishes to you and your pups Leonor. We were indeed blessed to have Jerry in our lives. And though he is now gone, the blessings continue from kind souls like you because of him. Thanks for the love.
I had missed the PBS show when it aired Sunday, so I watched it online at work. Boy, I should have waited until I got home because Jerry’s story was so touching! I sat here trying to fight back tears. It was so hard to watch and not be able to let my emotions go. After the video, I went on to read your interview and his story. I had to switch screens every so often because tears would just flow from my eyes. I kept telling myself to read later when I’m home, but I was really drawn to Jerry’s story and I wanted to know more about him. Thank you for sharing Jerry’s story. I know it took a lot of strength to share such a story. My deepest condolences for your loss.
I have three dogs myself and I can’t imagine my life without them. They are #1 in my life. There are no limits to what I would do for them. Though my dogs are very young still, I can’t help but think of the day when they will have to leave me.
Bless you for taking the time to find out Jerry’s whole story Christine. Glad you didn’t get in trouble at work!
Jerry gave us the strength to enjoy every day to its fullest. Sharing that simple yet profound outlook on life has become our mission since he’s gone. Thank you for letting us know its working. Tell a friend.
What an incredible and touching story. I, too ran to mycomputer to read more about Jerry and his pawrents.
What wonderful pawrents and what a wonderful fur child. The three of you are so lucky to have had each other. I am so touched by your thoughtfulness of Jerry’s happiness, well being, and dignity.
I hope to do the same for my two purrballs, E.G and Clover when their time comes, and they are 13-1/2 years old.
My condolences for your loss and thank you for sharing this your wonderful story.
Warm regards,
Joan
Thanks for taking the time to learn more about Jerry’s story and leave this kind comment Joan. Best wishes to you and your furkids!
Well, like everyone else I just watched the story of Jerry, read the blog and am crying. In 1998 I was taking care of my 38 year old son Daniel who had Multiple Sclerosis and the prognosis was not good. I was very sad and decided that I needed a “buddy” to get me through the days. I went to the library and after researching breeds of dogs decided that a Bichon Frise was perfect for me and got Louis when he was just 11 weeks old from a woman named Faith. Louis brought much joy and a lot of laughter to my son as he got sicker and to myself as I got sadder. Dan died in late 2003 and I am sure that without Louis I would not be here today, aged 75. Louis has stuck by me through all the crying, anger and emotional turmoil. When I cry he hurries over to me, jumps up on the couch and pushes his body into mine. Or he might jump up on my lap and put his head on my heart. We are both getting older but still whenever I arrive home and call out,”Where’s my Sweetie-Pie?”, he runs out, tail wagging, smile on his face and love in his eyes. At least once a day he lies on his back and laughs with complete happiness. Dogs are the soul and spirit of our life and no one ever loves you like your dog. Now Louis and I both are approaching the end of our journey here, each of us helping the other, and I know that Dan is waiting for us. Thanks for sharing your beautiful Jerry with us.
Thanks for commenting Catherine, so sorry to hear about your son. Jerry was a therapy dog who enjoyed spreading smiles in the convalescent home – especially for my mother, who also died after battling MS. Best wishes for you and Louis.
Thank you very much. Very sorry to hear about your Mom. MS is a very difficult disease. Dan had a service dog, a Black Lab named Alanis who helped him while he was wheelchair bound. When he became too ill to manage her she went to live with a woman who also suffered with MS. Dan got Alanis from the Pet Partnership Project at the Purdy, WA Prison for Women. They get dogs from the Humane Society and prisoners train them for the disabled. Alanis served Dan very well and gave him the courage to brave the world in his wheelchair. When I went to California to scatter Dan’s ashes I boarded Louis at the Prison where he was cared for by the woman who had trained Alanis for Dan. Synchronicity!! Best Wishes to you.
I have never, ever, had a tv show touch me to the point to where I ran to my computer to see how the story ended…..like I didn’t already know.
I’m usually not even home at this hour to watch tv but my beloved cattle dog mix Ekhi, age 14, is in her final chapter and so we are spending as much quality time as possible. On Feb 4 her lab tests showed acute kidney failure, liver disfunction, anemia, and a whole lot of other bad news. My brain stopped comprehending the details after the first few sentences and $1300. The vet wanted to do a slew of more tests, and thinks she has lymphoma. Instead, I took her home with antibiotics, pain pills, and subcutaneous fluids (like an IV, but you don’t need to find a vein.) I told her she is now officially at the princess level which mostly means no more boring dry dog food. She started eating again, motivated by the chicken, rice, and baby food diet. Yesterday she didn’t want to go anywhere, but today she went for a car ride and walk. She is calling the shots. It is really hard to know what to do next. Tomorrow will be two weeks, longer than the “it’s imminent” I was first told, but how much longer?
You both are so brave to share your story and I am convinced it will help other human partners understand their options when faced with a terminal diagnosis. Five years ago I lost my greyhound to bone cancer and this web site would have been of tremendous support. Both my dogs, like Jerry, loved a good road trip and have been all over the western states. We’ve probably stayed at many of the same campsites and hiked some of the same trails.
My deepest sympathy on your loss.
Sincerely,
Cindy
San Diego
Thank you Cindy, it makes missing Jerry a bit easier knowing how he has touched so many people, so deeply. Bless you for taking such good care of Ekhi and best wishes.
I thought that this was very sad to read,but it also left me with a hopeful feeling that Jerry is now happy to be having fun on all fours again. I really hope that he is enjoying his time elsewhere until you meet up with him again. I wish I could meet him too…he sounds like a joy to be around.
Oh Aaron, yes, be hopeful and happy, it’s what Jerry always wanted for everyone. Whenever we would get sad or something like that, his ears would go back and he would look miserable until we stopped dwelling on it. Life is all about living in the moment, so that’s what we try to do. We wish you could’ve met him too. Thanks so much for the beautiful letter.
I saw your story on PBS and had to go on the website to see when and where Jerry left you behind. I knew I would cry, so I’m sitting here at my work desk hoping no one sees so I don’t have to explain. I have said goodbye to some wonderful furry friends in my 58 years. Thanks for sharing your story. What a gift Jerry was to you and what a gift you shared in your travels over his last days here. I had never heard of people making such a life altering/blessing decision, but understood it immediately. Your journey with him, I believe, will serve you in ways only time will serve to display. I know the pain will move to blessing for you and all you meet in the future days. God continue to bless you in all ways. I know another four (three?) legged, fur-bearing friend is in your future. Love isn’t lost or divided when we lose someone, it is multiplied over and over. Thanks again.
Jerry gave us quite a gift of life indeed. The gifts continue to come in the way of comments from kind souls like you, all because of our sweet little fur kid. Thanks for taking the time to come find out more and comment.
Wow, I’m still crying. I have had many, many dogs in my 68 years and my last will probably be my Collie, Mardi, that I adopted after my 46yr. marriage ended in divorce. I always had my ex to help through the bad times when we knew our buddies had come to the end of their days, but now I’ll have to face that alone. I hope my lovely Mardi has many years left with me, but I hope I can face anything that comes our way after reading Jerry’s incredible story. I am fortunate enough to work part time at a vet clinic and have experienced all the emotions that we go through when our faithful pet has something we can’t make go away. I don’t know if you have another dog now, but our entire family of dog lovers has never let any grass grow under our feet when we’ve dealt with the death of our loyal buds, and there is a dog out there waiting for a family that has the love and devotion that you had with Jerry. Dogs bring us love, laughter and that incredible 4, or 3 as the case may be, legged outlook on life and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Just look at what dog is spelled backwards and who’s to know what plan that was for our universe when we domesticated the dog…I still haven’t seen the Marley movie but I read the book and you’ve got a real story here and I would most certainly add that publication to my library if you ever decide to do it.
This whole story makes me happy to be a dog lover. My ex and I traveled with our dogs in our RV for many, many years. They were never boarded. If they couldn’t go, we didn’t go and pretty much still remains that way except now I have a dear, dear friend who will watch Mardi at her home if I decide to go somewhere for a longer stretch. I wish we would have met you along the way with Jerry. My fondest memory is taking the ashes of our most beloved Brittany, Brewster, to S.Dak where he hunted many long years and scattering them in one of his favorite swales and we even captured a picture and you can see the cloud spreading in the air. My ex and I split the remaining ashes when we separated and I have the lovely velvet bag with me.
Thank you for your story and always keep those memories of Jerry even if new memories are on the horizon…Most sincerely,
Margo Mair
Highland IN
Shaggy dog
Thank you for the heartfelt comments Margo. And for the reassurance about publishing Jerry’s story, its becoming more and more apparent that we need to get going on that! The image you shared of saying your final goodbye to Brewster is beautiful, one day we hope to do the same with Jerry’s remains – once we find that perfect little piece of paradise he was helping us look for.
Your story brought tears to me – thank you for sharing your love for Jerry. My heartfelt condolences on your huge loss.
I lost my beloved Keelee (12 1/2 year old Golden Retriever/Australian Shepherd mix) to a brain tumor on 5/22/2008. I was with her when her shining eyes were extinguished & we gave her peace. She was the love of my life – my 90 lb gentle giant.
As someone wrote – “it is, this morning, as much a relief, as a loss…”
Hugs to both of you…
Yes, it is bittersweet to see them released from their broken bodies. But it is our responsibility. We owe it to them. Jerry was our first, and he taught us so much, so it was extra tough. But knowing his story reached so many people who “get it” makes missing him a little easier. Thanks for commenting.
My husband and I both enjoyed wathcing your story on Nature. I had to find out how Jerry’s story ended, even though I knew it would be difficult. I’ve been with many of my beloved pets through the years at the time of their release, and while it is difficult, it is comforting to know they are free of their pain. As the pawrents now of 2 aging dogs, Nickalas, a Great Pyrenees is 11, and Murphy, a poodle-spaniel mix is 13, we know each and every day is a gift to be cherished.
We thank you for sharing your story and wish you well on your journey. As I’m sure you know, Jerry will be with you always
Nick and Murphy send tail wags and wet kisses!
Each and every day is a gift, indeed. Jerry taught us that and we are honored to share it with so many wonderful caring people such as yourselves. Best wishes to you and your pups!
Having a recent “good-bye” exprience with my 11 1 /2 yr old faithful lab mix, Jodan(June 6th 2008), I know how wrenching it is to let go. However, the very caring staff at my local vet clinic made the sad situation bearable. Jordan truly went to sleep peacefully, and knowing that he was released from further suffering was a comfort for me. This was not the first time I have been present to say good-bye. I have gone through the process an additional 4 times, but it was by far the most empathetic. I have kept their ashes and they will be with me when I am laid to rest. My father was buried with the remains of his faithful Siamese (among other favorite items), without interference from the funeral home, acconmplished through a “don’t ask” policy. In other words, they knew but looked the other way. My fur and feathered babies have always held a cherished place in my home. I never cease to be amazed at all the love and warmth they have given me. I cannot imagine a life without these special babies. I now have the pleasure of owning a lively Australian Shepherd and recently welcomed Carlo, a German Shepherd of massive proportions, and gentle bearing. Their presence continues to enrich me. They have joined a household of cats and exotic birds. My lfe is full. I am truly blessed. May you find comfort in the knowledge that Jerry’s existence enriched yours. Your lives were made so much fuller because of him. Thanks so much for sharing Jerry with us!
Yes, Jerry indeed enriched our lives immensely. He completed us and taught us so much … thanks for noticing and taking the time to comment. Best wishes to you and all your loving animals.